As Valentine’s Day draws near, I am reminded of how my thinking, my feelings, and my behaviors have kept me from love. To be honest, I had zero understanding of the simple yet complicated concept of love. I know now that the need for it was the driving force of my life. In the beginning though, I did not know that I had implanted the wrong foundation for my thinking, and that what I searched for I could never achieve.

Eventually I did find the information, and I already had the need. However, the turning point came with a message that opened my awareness. A simple statement really, that “love is about giving and being able to receive love.” That is the key to being in love and being loved. It’s not enough to love others, you also have to let them close enough to love you. I had spent my life building walls to keep love out. People had tried to love me, and I wouldn’t let them. At the time, I did not understand how my thoughts affected both my behavior and my feelings in order to protect my fear of intimacy. Life became complicated. But, as always, love was the answer, and making the decision to allow love in was the key that changed my life. 

Truth be told, I still have so much to learn. Valentine’s Day reminds me why my wife, Asta, came into my life. Simply, she came to teach love. She has taught me so much and still teaches me. She has also given this gift to my sons—modeling love, giving love. Consistency breeds trust, and she is always consistent. Not just around Valentine’s Day but every day. What could be better than that? She always leads with love and still amazes me. My sons always know where they get their love from. They know the safety of coming home. She planted a safe spot in their DNA for the rest of their lives. Unselfish to a flaw, no one ever questions her motives, which always come from simple, pure love. Her ability to accept, give and understand are awe-inspiring. 

So, this Valentine’s Day month, I want to thank my wife for just being who she is every day of every year since we met—herself.  

Happy Valentine’s Day, Asta. Thanks. We love you.

Joe Dunne, publisher